There are Zombies in Our Midst

I can't take credit for this particular thought. It was in a conversation with my father that somehow included the best Star Trek line ever ("No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space."), cat dander, and, finally, the total and utter insanity that is the modern day Tea Party movement. It was my dad who compared them to Zombies. Now let me tell you why.

I heard a story on NPR this morning, the purpose of which was to compare today's Tea Party to the original. This was a bit jarring since there's um...no comparison. They're not comparable. Disturbingly, there seem to be very few Tea Partiers who are aware of that. They truly, firmly, and honestly believe that they are reviving the values that founded our country. What they fail to understand (or remember from their 4th grade history books) is that the Boston Tea Party was not about opposition to taxation. The colonists understood and appreciated the contract made with one's government that required taxes to be paid in exchange for the protection and services government provides. Their beef was the fact that they were being taxed by a government in which they had no voice. Everyone say it with me now: "NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!"

There is, however, no convincing Tea Party members of this. When the President of the Massachussetts Tea party had the discrepancy between her goals and the goals of the original Tea Party pointed out to her, she said, "I don't believe that." The TEA (Taxed Enough Already) Party claims that the Obama Administration taxes us too much and that all that money should remain in the pockets of individual Americans. A position they are well entitled to...other than the fact that the Obama Administration has cut taxes for 95% of Americans through tax credits and the like. Madame President's response to that pesky fact? "Well, I don't believe that." Well, as my convictions require me to support your right to believe whatever the hell you want, that's alright, but I hope you don't mind my pointing out that you're delusional. There are plenty of things that are true that I'd prefer not to believe, but given my fairly firm grasp on my reality, I'm forced to accept them. Some examples, in case you're curious:

• Sarah Palin actually was elected to public office. By Americans. And COULD have been Vice President. As in, second in line. *shudder*
• A lot of people actually do play Farmville on Facebook.
• Working out needs to be done regularly and you know...for the rest of my life. Sigh.
• People are genuinely upset about Tiger Woods' infidelity...because it clearly affects them deeply and will alter the way they live their day to day lives. Or not.

There is absolutely no reasoning with Madame President. If you told her that President Obama issued an executive order naming that sport with the orange balls, and the baskets, and the wooden floors "basketball", she'd disagree with him. She and her companions have abandoned rational discourse and replaced it with blind hatred and opposition to anything and everything having to do with the current administration and the current Congress. They. Are. Zombies. We can't get them back. Whoever they used to be...they're gone. They will never be convinced to meet us in the middle, to compromise on anything, to work with anyone who doesn't expressly agree with them on everything. As my father said: They're like the zombies in every other movie that came out in the last 10 years (Sidenote: could we not think of a new plotline? Really? A bunch of people in one location get infected with something. Turns them into zombies. We quarantine them. Then, like utter idiots, we go in to make sure they're all dead. Whoops! They're not. Cue deathfight with zombies. Score! Hit after hit at the box office. Anyway.). They've been infected, they can't be cured, and all we can do now is try to contain them and prevent them from infecting anyone else.

American education has to be better. How have we managed to educate generations of people who think that you can demand tax cuts and deficit reduction at the same time? Who demand tax cuts, dammit! from a president who passed one of the biggest tax cuts ever in his first month in office? Who are blithely unaware of the basis on which our country was founded and who SERIOUSLY can't even remember the adorable rhyme we all learned (let's all say it again! NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!)? Who are more than willing to drag brave patriots down to their level in a fairly disgusting and transparent profit-hording endeavor ($500 a plate at their convention? Mmmm... dry chicken.)?

So. There are zombies in our midst. I think we should be afraid of them. Even if you're on board with with basic premise that taxes and big government are bad (you would not be unreasonable to feel that way, we just may disagree on the definition of terms), I submit that you should be terrified of anyone who refuses rationality and reason. Let's all get together and make sure they don't bite and infect anyone we like....no....make sure they don't get to anyone else.