Abba Wrote a Song About Me

Well at least I'm pretty sure it's about me. I mean, who else could they possibly have had in mind when they wrote Thank You for the Music in 1977 (and released it on an album creatively titled "The Album"...Oh, Abba...), 9 years before I was to grace the earth with my presence? Abba is wise. They saw me coming.

Let's break it down, line by line, and you'll see what I mean.

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore.

Ok, that one they got wrong. Clearly I delight everyone with whom I come in contact with my unique wit and overwhelming charm. And with my modesty, which is so pervasive as to fill up whole rooms. No really. But, you can't blame Abba--we don't technically speak the same language and we come from different cultures, so it's possible they just don't understand me.

When I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before.

Well, that's true but it's only because I have a horrendous memory when it comes to what I've already told you and what I haven't. Let's be clear, I'm not much for "joke" telling, I'm more of an "amusing anecdote" kind of person, and while I have them to share in unlimited supply I often forget to whom I have told which tale of hilarity. For this, I offer many apologies, and I ask only that you listen politely on the 2nd and 3rd tellings, laughing at the appropriate junctures, and wait until I am re-telling for the 4th time to inform me that you've heard this one already. Thanks.

But I have a talent, a wonderful thing, 'cause everyone listens when I start to sing.

Yes, I'm really really good at demanding attention. And, I have an unfortunate habit of singing at inappropriate times. In the line at the grocery store, in my cubicle at work, at parties....songs just pop into my head and I start singing them. It's a complusion and I can't seem to really control it at all. I also do a lot of singing at appropriate times--with my voice teachers, in choir rehearsal, at karaoke bars. But I have to be honest and say that if this is one of those "which came first" questions--the inappropriate or the appropriate singing--I'd have to say it was the inappropriate. I showed a certain proclivity for singing at weird times starting a very young age--but we'll talk about that shortly. Needless to say, I'm guessing my parents were hoping that putting me in choirs and voice lessons would give me an outlet and I'd stop singing all the bloody time. Oh well. ;)

I'm so grateful and proud, all I want is to sing it out loud.

That's basically true. I'm grateful to my parents for supporting my singing habit so staunchly, grateful to Troy and my friends for continuing to put up with it (especially to Troy--I mean, I love all of you, but none of you have to share a 650 sq. ft. condo with me and the songs I get stuck in my head). And I'm proud because (and I'm being perfectly frank here) I don't think all the money and time spent on this habit in my youth was wasted. I'm not half bad. And, in fact, mostly what I want is to sing it (to be read as "everything") out loud. I look forward to driving by myself so that I can practice in the car. I spend HOURS memorizing new songs by listening to them on repeat while reading the lyrics very carefully. And I love showers because the acoustics are so good.

Let's skip the chorus for now...it shows up several times and we'll get there shortly.

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk, she says I began to sing long before I could talk.

I've heard stories along these lines from both my parents for a long time. So I'm pretty sure they're true. Okay, perhaps not literally true--"before I could walk" and "before I could talk" are just used for dramatic effect and embellishment to make a point. I started dancing and singing really early. This not-quite-accurate-but-still-reflective-of-something-that-actually-happened line makes me even more certain that this song is about me. Just ask Troy...I embellish all the time and drive him nuts. ;) Anyway, I have pictures as proof of how ridiculously early I started dancing "for reals" (aged 2.5) but I'm quite certain there was some pretty spastically wonderful dancing happening before my training kicked in. And apparently, I was not a crier as a baby--I didn't wake up in my crib and cry to alert my parents to my current state and my desire to be attended to. I woke up in my crib and sang until my parents noticed me. I believe the mornings went something like this:

Parents: (hearing Mary singing) Good morning, Mary.

Mary: Hi! Do you wanna sing a song?

Parents: Well sure, sweetheart. (They were very accommodating.)

Parents and Mary: *sing until parents decide there's something else that should be happening*

Don't lie. You are totally hoping that's what your kid does to wake you up instead of wailing like a banshee.

And I've often wondered, where did it all start? Who found out that nothing can capture the heart like a melody can? Well whoever it was, I'm a fan.

A fascinating question and, in fact, one that I have pondered on occasion. Turns out, I'm not alone. Darwin wondered what could have possessed man to go from producing sounds purely for utility to producing them for pleasure (ie. music). In The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex (not very pithy with that one, was he?): "As neither the enjoyment nor the capacity of producing musical notes are faculties of the least use to man...they must be ranked amongst the most mysterious with which he is endowed." There are a variety of theories as to why we might have developed the drive to make music--the one I like is a compilation of other theories and goes like this: Our ability to make music is a side effect of our abilities to do other things like speak and make vocalizations in response to emotional stimuli (animal vocalizations). Our perceptual and cognitive abilities sort of accidentally make us respond emotionally to music. But that doesn't really answer the question WHO and WHERE? We're not really sure, because early humans weren't very practiced in self-awareness and they didn't think to make a note in the cave wall when they first discovered a pleasant little ditty. There is a theory that it was no earlier than late homo erectus (about 500,000 years ago) because there is fossil evidence that it was then that humans developed a larger thoracic vertebral canal which is linked to greater breath control, and thus the ability for complex vocalization. (Wow...nerdy much? I'm done now.) Seriously though, not sure where it started or with whom, but I love it.

I've been so lucky. I am the girl with golden hair. I wanna sing it out to everybody--what a joy, what a life, what a chance!

In all seriousness. I am outstandingly, disgustingly lucky. I won't go into details as to why, but I will say that it has very little to do with my hair color (especially since my betrothed and I can't seem to agree on what color my hair is). I am annoyingly happy with my life when I ignore certain unfortunate things that are only temporary and really not all that important--possibly a contributing factor to all the inappropriate singing. Well. I'd probably just sing sadder stuff if I was bummed all the time.

And on to the chorus:

So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing.

I do. Thanks prehistoric singing dudes.

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty.

Ok, I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. I'm not at all certain that my random singing of random songs no one has heard of brings all that much joy to anyone but me and I'm decently sure that a lot of people could live without it.

What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we?

Ohhhhhh, you don't mean live without MY singing in particular. You meant songs and dance in GENERAL. Well that's a horse of a different color. Yes, indeed, what would we be? I'll let Nietzsche sum this one up for me, because I've gone on long enough already. He said, "Without music, life would be a mistake." Agreed, Friedrich.

So yeah. Clearly, the song is about me. Anyone else have any songs written about them? Because it's pretty awesome.